Kings & Cabbages

Donald Trump, billionaire businessman and celebrity personality who hosts reality shows like The Apprentice, has recently announced himself as a Republican candidate for the 2012 Presidential election. As a Republican candidate, Trump has already passed the litmus test of Islamophobia by appearing on the 700 Club and declaring that “we have a Muslim problem.” He is currently leading the pack in a preliminary popularity poll of Republican candidates. Aye, polls and the hand of fate work in mysterious ways.

Donald, America's Savior?

Of course, the unwritten rule for every Republican candidate trying to reach out to the Bible belt is to tar American Muslims as a virulent domestic threat. Liberals who declare that the US stands for freedom of religion and that racism is against the Civil Rights Act enshrined in the US Constitution are unpatriotic namby-pambies. “We’re so politically correct, the country is falling apart,” Trump bemoans. For Donald Trump, “we” absolutely have a Muslim problem: “Look what’s happening. Look what happened right here in my city with the World Trade Center and lots of other places. . . I didn’t see Swedish people knocking down the World Trade Center.” Donald Trump believes in absolute profit and no less, so it’s providential that he didn’t experience any blowback in airing his views of Muslims. “It was very interesting,” he said, “I thought that was going to be a controversial statement . . . but actually it was very well received.”

In Trump’s world, personal belief doesn’t necessarily have to correlate with actions and lifestyle. Trump’s well-documented excesses and his amorous conquests smoothly mesh with him being a devoted Bible man. As per Trump: “I believe in God. I am Christian. I think The Bible is certainly, it is THE book. It is the thing.” Who knew that Trump was the reincarnation of a Jamestown colonial immigrant, who fervently believed in the credo of God, glory, and gold? For The Donald, though, who is inordinately fond of getting photographed around the yellow-hued metal that seems to setoff his Cheetos-tan, the order in which the three are ranked might be anyone’s guess.

Even though he notes that “he is not an expert in the Koran,” he doesn’t hesitate to condemn the scriptural revelation followed by a quarter of the world’s population. “[T]here’s something there that teaches some very negative vibe,” he confides to the 700 club. “I mean things are happening, when you look at people blowing up all over the streets that are in some of the countries over in the Middle East,” expounds Trump, “[t]here’s a lot of hatred there that’s [coming from] some place.” Are The Donald and Peter King golfing buddies?

Trump is hoping that his “bluntness is success” TV persona will provide the antidote for a public tired with a gutless and wishy-washy President Obama. In outlining his foreign policy positions, he projects a tough-talking New York mogul with a sense of entitlement reminiscent of G.W. Bush’s silver-spoon fed cowboy gunslinger. Trump declares that he would force China to currency manipulation or face a 25 percent tariff on all exports to the United States, and that “OPEC oil-producing nations would have to drop the price of a barrel or oil to $40-50 or face America’s wrath,” as Reuters puts it. Donald Trump also complains about providing free security to Saudi Arabia and South Korea, and announces that a dollar tag would henceforth be placed on American military protection.

Arab and Muslim populations sick and tired of the American military bootprint would of course welcome the idea that the laser guided missiles raining down on them would no longer be gratis and would jump at the chance to ask the Pentagon to close shop and high tail for home. While Donald Trump gets show-business, he may not understand the military-industrial complex enshrined at the heart of the US economy. What if in Trump-esque world, Muslims could choose whether they wanted US military on their soil? Then, its no guesswork that the lavish lifestyle afforded by the teetering US economy to the 1% of the population to which he belongs wouldn’t survive the week.